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\u201cParents are still in the fase of mourning and accepting\u201d it says. It\u2019s the official report from the council. Our son\u2019s plan. The woman who wrote this for us is on our side. Luckily! It\u2019s the plan we aimed for, I\u2019m happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s that one line that bothers me. It\u2019s irritating me. Mourning? I\u2019m not in mourning, I\u2019m not mourning my child. My child is here, just as perfect and complete as he was before this rollercoaster began. \u201cAre you mourning him?\u201d I ask my husband. No, he doesn\u2019t feel like this either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The line was written by a woman who was at our house for about an hour. And after that hour, in which she told us she was there for us, she apparently felt like she knew all about our situation. Odd, she doesn\u2019t feel right we thought after she left. My intuition told me she wasn\u2019t right for us. Despite her friendliness I would rather erase her from our file. I want to do it myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My intuition was right. She didn\u2019t help us, quite the opposite actually. She even said \u201cyou should be careful not to deny your child the proper care because you can\u2019t accept him for who he is\u201d. The more I think about it the angrier I get. \u201cWhat do you know about it?\u201d I want to scream at her. Do you really think you can define him in the short time you had available for him? Quickly, between two other appointments? Did you even look at him? Did you listen to us? Did you SEE him?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, she saw my tears. They show up a lot lately. And at inconvenient moments, that\u2019s hard sometimes. But I\u2019m not ashamed of my tears. Because I think they are normal. You\u2019re talking about my child here. My heart. My everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But they\u2019re no tears of mourning! She doesn\u2019t understand. They\u2019re tears of sadness but even more so of fear. Not the fear of everything my child won\u2019t be able to do, or what he\u2019s going to miss out on. It\u2019s the fear we won\u2019t be able to protect him from the world. This world that expects him to function in a certain way at a certain time. That will reject him if he doesn\u2019t fit the box. It\u2019s fear. Something I would never have predicted would have such an important role in this process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s so weird to feel as if there\u2019s a counterparty. Everyone we talk to seems just as nice. More than once they\u2019ve claimed to be our spokesperson. The one we should turn to when we need help. But after a conversation like that I often feel empty, sad and scared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And nothing comes after it. No advice, no encouraging words, no \u201cit will be alright\u201d or \u201clet\u2019s just start helping him\u201d. Nothing. And we\u2019ve waited a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My child is no problem. Not to us at least. He the most beautiful, he\u2019s the best. We\u2019re not scared of our future. We will make it, I know it. We\u2019re not mourning something we\u2019ve lost, something that was never there. He has always been himself. His own unique, funny, quirky, wordless self. We fear the world for our sweet child. And apparently that starts today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cParents are still in the fase of mourning and accepting\u201d it says. It\u2019s the official report from the council. Our son\u2019s plan. The woman who wrote this for us is on our side. Luckily! It\u2019s the plan we aimed for, I\u2019m happy. It\u2019s that one line that bothers me. It\u2019s irritating me. Mourning? I\u2019m not […]\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":430,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-autisme-blog-en"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/twiyo.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/twiyo.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/twiyo.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twiyo.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twiyo.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=489"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/twiyo.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/489\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":534,"href":"https:\/\/twiyo.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/489\/revisions\/534"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twiyo.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/430"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/twiyo.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twiyo.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twiyo.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}